Within the confines of my mind there lays a wandering gnome who is constantly challenging my perception of life in general.
For story-line purposes we shall call the gnome, “Dann”. He has two fellow debater’s, Shakie, the Dark Thinker and myself, LightHouse, the Light of Reasoning.
Just today, for instance, Dann asked us if it is worth it to live such a solitary life. This led to a huge dissection of my existence and what purposes I have used to justify being so.
Shake would say:
Yes, my social life is almost non-existent. Yes, I am often lonely for adult companionship. Yes, I live on one third of the poverty level set by Revenue Canada. Yes, I am reclusive.
LightHouse would enlighten:
My non-existent social life is spent conversing with many dear friends many hours daily. Either via social media sites, emails, phone calls or my blogs. Often friends pop by, I do not need to advertise their visits.
I am often lonely for the company of other adults. When this need arises I do what every other soul does. I go visit a friend. After five point six decades on this Big Blue Marble I have long past the stage of neediness and clinging to fellow-man just so I can feel needed. I have no doubt that I am needed. I need me. My children need me. The dog, lizard and Budgie need me. Shake and Dann need me. The WORLD needs me to assist in sharing my collective wisdom and life experiences. I always feel needed. I am Blessed.
As for my finances, life is what it is. In my life time of work I earned approximately two million dollars. That does not make me a ‘once’ millionaire – no not at all. That is my accumulated wage over forty years of struggle. Deduct from this my lodging, my food, my leisure, my drinking/drug years and the biggest debit of all, my living, and little is left for an elder aged street urchin like myself. I did not expect to be struck down so early in my life and had no plan ‘B’. Take heed of this when plotting your future.
And as for being a recluse – that I am not. I share my everyday life very willingly with my Blessed ten-year old, The Krush. We share our lives with Leo, The Blunder Dog, Diablo, The Angry Lizard and Baby, The Paranoid Budgie. I have many friends very close to my home and if need be will visit.
I choose to live semi-reclusive so as I can reflect on the adventurous life I have lived seven times over. My dealings with The Dark Angel, the Seven Battles of Dann, left me more than satisfied with the lives I was dealt.
I am a recluse only when need demands. My healing time is reclusive, my intellectual periods and my fatherhood also calls for occasional withdrawal from mainstream dancing of life.
Shake often try’s to tempt the Demon from within. Oh to live that extreme party life! To show these amateurs how to drink real booze. To take drug usage to the very edge of The Abyss. What a dynamic and exciting life that would be! NOT!!! I have been there and done that. More times than anyone else I know. (Well, maybe Keith Richards, but I do not know him. Lol)
Death taught me many things – but what I was Blessed to learn the most was LIFE.
Live your life, do not let life live YOU! Be at peace with whatever demons live within you. Judge not, lest be judged. Learn to FORGIVE – begin with YOURSELF and let it spread to all who need your FORGIVENESS.
TAKE IT FROM THIS LONG HAIRED LEAPING GNOME, LEARN FROM YOUR LIFE LESSONS………
UNTIL NEXT TIME, I REMAIN, DANN – JUST AS I AM.