Category Archives: friendship

Cuatro en La Mañana Pensamientos Profundos

Mi alma gemela está fuera para una mini-excursión para limpiar su hermosa mente de su madre y yo luchando contra el cáncer en etapa 4 tardía.

Es desgarrador verla sufriendo mi dolor.

Antes de que ella incluso saliera de Toronto, tuve ese nudo retorcido de soledad que agarró mis testículos.

Sé muy bien que pronto estará en casa, pero “el corazón es un cazador solitario”.

Lo mío está en una nube solitaria de Apreciación y Amor.


Ella sabe el peso de mi Devoción y cada onza singular de amor verdadero que llevo por ella.

No hay duda si eso. Esperaré su regreso con el corazón bien abierto y los brazos levantados en Alabado sea Dios.

Porque el Señor Salvador me bendijo con el privilegio de amarla.

Y lo hago La amo inmensamente y 100% veraz.


My soul mate is away for a mini-excursion to clear her beautiful mind from her Mother and I both battling late stage 4 cancer.

It is heartbreaking to see her suffering my pain.

Before she even flew out of Toronto I had that twisted knot of loneliness grab my testicles.

I know darn well that she will soon be home, but the “heart is a lonely hunter”.

Mine lays in a solitary cloud of Appreciation and Love.


She knows the weight of my Devotion and each singular ounce of true love I carry for her.

There is no doubt if that. I will await her return with my heart wide open and my arms raised in Praise God. For the Lord Savior Blessed me with the privilege of loving her.

And I do. I love her immensely and 100% truthfulness.


Piscina de Lágrimas

The night reminds me that there lay a hole in my heart.

A dark aching patch which once was filled with joyous laughter and pride.

Pride for being gifted with loving her.

I shall never not love her.

How could I?

For my heart beats only for her.

In days of futures past the love will still be genuine.

Love is not a mere word. Although, some may believe.

It well may be a physical part of that which we are made of.

So, I shall shed these tears.

For they are mine.

They shall gather as a pool of joyfulness and sorrow in the dark hole within my heart.

And I will smile.

And remember when it was love …..

At first sight.


Many have surely noticed by now that my emotions and writings are up and down more than elevator at a tourist attraction.

I apologize for that.

I am going through so much, … too much, for me to quell the demons.

I apologize.

I never expected that by my becoming a victim of cancer it would cost me all the things most dear to me.

My home = gone

My son = gone

My dogs = gone

My truest love = gone

My physical body = gone

My innermost soul = gone

It has to be me. Every day it’s the same subliminal accusations. So, I must be doing some sort of low life activity that I am unaware of.

It’s the only logical explanation.

In my day, it was said that if someone constantly accuses you of doing something then it was THEY who are hiding secrets.

I do not believe that either, though.

I feel like a damn broken recording, but, I will repeat this one more time :

I may be a dangerous man, a killer, a thief, a biker, a nomad. BUT ….. I never lie about how truly I love someone. Only a low life piece of crap would play with another souls emotions. It is one of the worse things you can do to anyone – playing Russian roulette with their hearts and souls.

Cancer is evil. It takes control over your family and close friend’s emotions and tries to wreak havoc every way it may.

Often it wins and destroys the patient and his/her family ties.

Many marriages fall apart due to the complexity of what comes with a cancer diagnosis.

I am tired, very tired. Mainly emotionally, but very much physically, also.

I have had so much happen in the past two years.

Fall and winter 2017/2018 – nine surgeries on my kidneys, and bladder.

Removed my gall bladder.

One third of my liver removed.

Spring 2018 – repair and replace part of the hardwear holding my right foot together.

Followed shortly thereafter by yet another heart attack.


Summer 2018 – seizures started. It was determined they are being caused by residual damaged from when they removed C2, C3, C5 and C6 vertebrae and the spinal cord and brain damage from the shattered neck.

Fall 2018 – shot in the leg by a nice black man on Dawes Road. Wrong place at the right time.

Early October diagnosed with Pharyngeal carcinoma, Stage 4 – 19 tumors in my head, neck and upper chest area.

Exactly one week to the day I received the diagnosis of the Squamous Cell carcinoma, it also is Stage 4. One very large tumor on the base of my tongue and one smaller tumor on either side 3 close to my heart and 3 additional ones in the frontal lobe area of my beautiful brain.

Both cancers too far past conventional treatments.

My two options consisted of complete removal of my tongue and most everything in my neck cavity


take part in a human trial and complete a very radical and complex series of radiation therapy.

Hence, I chose the latter.

January 2019 – while hospitalized for treatments they found an extremely large existing abscess in my lower abdominal cavity.

This abscess was existing for Lords know how long and was not related to the cancers or previous conditions. 

One week after the removal of the abscess I had a drain tube malfunction that tore up more of my intestines and such. It manifested into a full blown septicemia battle. Almost died twice during the battle to survive.

February 2019 – after being home only two nights on February 2nd my spleen explodes in my sleep and I bleed out. Eventually I would go through 8 litres of my rare blood. But for the grace of God I am still here today.

Miraculously, they kept me alive and I was able to get discharged from the Micheal Garron Hospital and re-admitted to Princess Margaret Cancer Hospital.

March 1st 2019 – I successfully finished the radical radiation sessions.

Very successful in killing the both types of tumors.

Or so we had thought ……..

April 2019 – 7 Squamous Cell tumors return.

Come May 6th, 2019 I will receive a complete and more complex updated diagnosis of my situation.

Until then, I remain, Dann – just as I am.





My Seventh Book Is Published

“6315 – The Original Urban Viking” – Volume 3 of my Walking On Dawes Collection is now published.

So come travel the world with 6315. He hasn’t been right since t accident.


I have had the anguish of  losing many friends and family over the past sixty-one years.

I have lost a few of my children.

My mother was murdered and made me promise on her death bed not to retaliate. Hard promise to keep, yet, I kept it.

I normally do not cry over death.

But, I cry over my dear friend’s, Sheena Eve’s, passing. It was such a tragic one.

I cry everyday. Every morning. Every night.


When I awake and she is the first thought in my mind, I know she is telling me all will work out. I miss her and so do all of her friends. Sheena Eve was a living Angel and now as she sits in Valhalla she is a celestial Angel.


Yet, although I shed no tears over my sons passing or even that of my mother, I cry many tears daily over Sheena Eve’s. The only passing in my life that has affected me this way.

My LightHouse gift (curse) of seeing dead people and premonition does not allow me the courtesy  of blocking my emotions.

And therefore every time I see Sheena Eve’s pictures, hear her name or even briefly think of her I cry. No matter where I am. I do so proudly as there is no shame or embarrassment in loving someone so greatly that it hurts.

My tears are painful, but not sorrowful.  They are happy tears formed by having Sheena Eve in my life. For Sheena Eve and our  good friend Miss V having saved my life at the lowest point of my existence. An act of love that I shall ever be grateful for.

Best part of my sorrow is the joy I will have when I ascend.


I shall die with a smile knowing that this time I will not return like the past seven times I died.

I will take Sheena Eve’s hand, walk to the portal and all will be well. 

She will continue to watch over us from the Heavens. Giving an Angelic hug to those of us who need one. 

My beautiful Irish Guardian Angel


Until the Creator’s allow us to sit together once again, I shall remain Dann, just as I am

And these tears will always sting my face … — 



Today is the last day you can download, for free, “DAMAGED”, my first book and the first volume of my “Walk With Dann Collection”


“DAMAGED” for free via download on in e-book format.

Here’s a quick link, always available for free to all KindleUnlimited subscribers – as are all seven of my books.

All my books, paperback and e-books, available at and


Here is why I have left the numerous spelling, grammar and formatting mistakes in this Volume 1 of my fictional autobiography …………….


Walk With Dann Collection

Volume 1

A Walk from my birth till I meet my second wife.”

I left It raw on purpose as a testament to the honesty of my words and work.


It contains humour, murder, explosions and motorcycles.

It may or may not be fictional or may even be non-fictional.

Only my hairdresser knows for sure…….

So, come follow the beacon and see what lays within “The LightHouse” we call “Dann

Meine Bücher Erklärt

Erlaube mir, dich auf eine Reise in die verdrehte, aufgewühlte Leere meines inneren Ichs mitzunehmen.

Aus diesem Grund habe ich vor all diesen Jahren angefangen zu bloggen. Ich werde immer bloggen.

Ich werde immer eine Meinung oder einen Gedanken haben und ich bin stolz auf meine Überzeugungen.

Blogging brachte mich dazu, mein Leben lang den Wunsch zu erfüllen, mein Leben dort draußen zu verbringen. Für meine Existenz war sehr einzigartig. Ich bin ein echter kanadischer Kosmonaut.

Auf diesen Seiten findest du die Essenz, die ich bin – möge ich dich durch die Tunnel meiner Gedanken führen und dich im strahlenden Schein meiner Meinung baden.

Ich biete dir ‘Dann’ so wie ich bin ..


Viele fragen mich, warum ich schreibe.
Ich schreibe meine Bücher für mich.
“Ich erzähle meinen Geschichten für meine Leser.”
Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob meine Werke schlecht geschriebene gute Geschichten oder gut geschriebene schlechte Geschichten sind.

Nicht so sicher, ob es mir egal ist.

Mir ist es wichtig, dass ich in meiner “Walk With Dann Collection” mein Leben so brutal und wahrheitsgetreu wie möglich über eine fiktionale Perspektive erzähle.

In Schande und in Ehre.

Das erste Buch der “Walk With Dann Collection” war das allererste Buch, das ich geschrieben habe. Ich habe absichtlich alle Rechtschreib- und Grammatikfehler vergessen. Wie auch bei den Formatierungs- und Bearbeitungsfehlern.

Ich tat dies, damit der Leser sah, dass das Leben voller Fehler ist und mein Leben begann “BESCHÄDIGT”.

Wie die folgenden Bände zeigen, habe ich gelernt, wie ich schrieb, und ich schrieb, wie ich gelernt habe. Jetzt, da ich an verschiedenen Projekten arbeite, kann ich sagen, dass ich ein “Autor” bin. Und ich tue das mit Stolz.

Es ist mir wichtig, dass meine Bücher “Stand Alone” wie “The Last Canadian Cosmonaut” dein Herz berühren. Es ist auch eine fiktive Erzählung einer vergangenen Lebenserfahrung. Eine Erfahrung, die nicht dupliziert werden kann.

Ich bete dafür, dass meine andere Sammlung, “Walking On Dawes Collection”, zeigt, dass Gangleben, obwohl oft ‘aufregend’, nur dazu führt, dass Karma in dein Gesäß beißt.

Ich beginne damit, die Geschichten zu lesen, von denen Sie glauben, dass ich den Lebensstil der Bande verherrliche, und versichere Ihnen, dass Sie am Ende jedes Bandes die Logik meiner Botschaft verstehen werden.


Eine Zusammenfassung meiner “Walk With Dann Collection”:

Mein Spaziergang mit Dann-Sammlung, Bände 1, 2 & 3

“Damaged” ist mein erstes Buch.

Wie ich, ist es roh und voller Fehler.

Ich habe es “unbearbeitet” gelassen, wie das Leben mich verlassen hat.

Lichthaus Dann Verner


Band 1, “BESCHÄDIGT” nimmt dich von meiner Geburt an bis zu meiner zweiten Frau.

Es ist grob, grob in der Tat, zahlreiche Formatkonvertierungsfehler.

Ich habe es absichtlich roh gelassen, als Beweis für die Ehrlichkeit meiner Worte und meiner Arbeit.

Es enthält Humor, Mord, Explosionen und Motorräder.

Es kann fiktiv oder vielleicht auch nicht fiktiv sein.

Lichthaus Dann Verner



Der zweite Band, ‘BANE’, führt Sie durch meine mittleren Jahre und drei Jahrzehnte der Ehe.

Es enthält nicht die Aufregung seines Vorgängers.

Es enthält viel mehr.

Es ist eine fiktive / non-fiktionale Geschichte davon, wie viele verschiedene “Spaziergänge” wir in unseren Leben nehmen.

Es erzählt von Liebe, Hass, Gesundheit, Krankheit, Reichen, Poorman, Eiscreme und Lebensschreien

Es beginnt dir zu zeigen, wer ich war und wer ich wurde.

“Kein vorsätzliches Fehlverhalten entgeht jemals Miss Karma oder ihrem Bruder Chaos.”

Lichthaus Dann Verner



Mein dritter Band, “BOON”, führt dich tief in mein fiktionales / non-fiktionales Privatleben mit Prüfungen und Drangsalen. Meine einzigartig verdrehte nicht die Norm Wahrnehmung meiner verschiedenen Realitäten.
Es ist eine Darstellung des gelebten Lebens. Ein No-Hold-Sperrkonto des Alltags in einem alltäglichen, einkommensschwachen kanadischen Hause. Du wirst lachen, du kannst an Punkten weinen, du wirst einen wahren “WALK WITH DANN” machen.
“Ich werde wie ein Fisch im Meer durch deine Adern rennen.”
(Zitat aus Onkel Krackers Lied ‘Follow Me’)

Lichthaus Dann Verner


Ich schreibe gerade den letzten Band der vierbändigen Walk With Dann Collection.
“UNKZ, ein kanadischer Kosmonaut”
Kommender August 2018



Mein erstes “Standalone-Buch”.
Mein persönlicher Favorit.
Ich habe den emotionalen “Walk” sehr genossen, während ich ihn geschrieben habe und diesen Teil meines Lebens und dieser Zeit der Geschichte gelindert habe.
Die ruhigsten Jahre meines chaotischen Lebens.
Unten ist ein Leckerbissen der Lautstärke, um Appetit zu machen
Lichthaus Dann Verner

“Eine fiktive Reise eines Hippies auf einer Harley, die die Zeiten erforscht.”



Der Geruch des Ozeans tanzte auf meinen Nasenlöchern, während ich ging, glitt und rutschte, über die Ebenen. Meine Augen huschten hin und her und tasteten vorsichtig nach Senken.

Ich hätte die andere Richtung gehen sollen. Auf die Junior High School. Auf dem Weg zu Hippie-Lehrern, die versuchen, mich von Wissenschaft, Glauben und Natur zu unterrichten.

Ich konnte den Zug in der Ferne hören. Ziehen Sie seine Tonnage Zuckerrohr um die Kurve zur Raffinerie.

Die Schlepper erklommen den Horizont. Ihre Wache spuckte hinter ihnen her, als sie gegen den mächtigen Tanker stießen, um das unnachgiebige Momentum zu verlangsamen. Damit es nicht an Land läuft.

Die Küste. Mein Pflegeheim war dort. Hoch auf dem Hügel. Es sind Fenster wie zwei große Augen, die mich mit Schuld verspotten. “Geh zur Schule”, schienen sie zu sagen.

“Ich kann nicht”, meine Antwort.


Eine kurze Zusammenfassung meiner “Walking On Dawes Collection”



Der erste Band des
“Walking auf Dawes Sammlung”
“Ich möchte ‘FLOKI’ sein”


Dies ist eine Geschichte von einer Familie, die ihr Leben im Rahmen von Regierungsprojekten und Gangleben lebt.
Außer ‘Little Ray’. Er und seine Familie wollen, dass er den Kreislauf bricht und ein normales Leben führt.
Es gibt Tragödie, Gelächter und vor allem “Einsicht” darin. Eine fiktive Geschichte, die auch nicht fiktiv ist.
Eine Familie, die in den Projekten von Toronto aufgewachsen ist. Das war ihre Realität und es war nichts falsch daran, denn jeder lebt in einer Nachbarschaft. Nur der Name und die Adressen sind unterschiedlich.
Der erste “WALK” einer entgangenen, miteinander verbundenen Sammlung fiktiver “Walks On Dawes”.
Die rohen und nackten Wahrheiten von einem erfahrenen Auge und einer Seele eines kanadischen Kosmonauten.
Eine Geschichte von den ursprünglichen “URBAN VIKINGS”.

Lichthaus Dann Verner

“Walking On Dawes – Band 2”
“Du kannst mich nicht sehen”



“Du kannst mich nicht sehen” – Walking On Dawes Collection – Band 2


“Dies ist ein Porträt eines gebrochenen Mannes, der ein gebrochenes Leben in einer zerbrochenen Welt führt, in der Familie und Freundschaft ein und dasselbe sind.”

Ein Mann, der einmal “BESCHÄDIGT” war, aber jetzt nur gebrochen war.

Wo falsche Entscheidungen zu lebenslangen Rügen führen können. Die Seele baumeln lassen und täglich aufs Herz treffen, um dich an die Strafen von Handlungen zu erinnern.

Wo ein Mann in einem überfüllten Raum ganz allein und unbemerkt sein kann.

Wo Traurigkeit Schatten Freude und Freude verbirgt die Traurigkeit.

Wo Glück und gute Zeiten sich mit Traurigkeit und Tragik ausgleichen.

Dies ist das Leben eines Mannes und seiner Familie, auf einer Straße in einer Stadt.

Ein Mann, der seine Dunkelheit sein Licht blenden ließ.


Eine Geschichte, die Sie am Ende überraschen wird.

Lichthaus Dann Verner


“Walking On Dawes Sammlung” – Band 3
Kommender Juli 2018




Walking With Dann Explained

Allow me to take you on a journey within the twisted churning void of my inner self.

This is why I started blogging all those years ago. I will always blog.

I will always have an opinion or thought and I take pride in my beliefs.

Blogging brought me to fulfill my life long desire to put my lives out there. For my existence has been very unique. I am a true Canadian Cosmonaut.

Within these pages may you find the essence that is me – may I guide you through the tunnels of my thoughts and bath you in the radiant glow of my opinion.

I offer you ‘Dann’ just as I am..

Many ask me why l write.

I write my books for me.

I tell my stories for my readers.”

I am not sure if my works are badly written good stories or well written bad stories.

Not too sure if I care either way.

I do care that, in my “Walk With Dann Collection”, I am telling my life as brutally and truthful as possible via a fictional perspective.

In shame and in honour.

The first book of the “Walk With Dann Collection” was the very first book I actually wrote. I left all the misspells and grammar errors in on purpose. As I also did with the formatting and editing errors.

I did this so the reader would see that life is full of mistakes and my life began “DAMAGED”.

As the volumes that followed show, I learned as I wrote and I wrote as I learned. Now as I work on various projects I can say that I am an ‘Author’. And I do so with pride.

I care that my ‘stand alone’ books, such as “The Last Canadian Cosmonaut” touch your heart. It, too, is a fictional telling of a past life experience. An experience that can not be duplicated.

I pray that my other collection, “Walking On Dawes Collection”, shows that gang life, although often ‘exciting’, leads only to karma biting your buttocks.

Beginning to read the tales you may believe I am glorifying gang life style, I assure you that by the end of each volume you will understand the logic behind my message.

A synopsis of my “Walk With Dann Collection”:

My Walk With Dann Collection, Volumes 1, 2 & 3

Damaged” is my first book.

Like me, it is raw and full of mistakes.

I have left it “unedited” as life has left me.

LightHouse Dann Verner

Volume 1, “DAMAGED” takes you on a Walk from my birth till I meet my second wife.

It is rough, crude in fact, numerous format conversion errors.

I left It raw on purpose as a testament to the honesty of my words and work.

It contains humour, murder, explosions and motorcycles.

It may or may not be fictional or may even be non-fictional.

LightHouse Dann Verner

The second volume, ‘BANE’, Walks you through my middle years and three decades of marriage.

It does not contain the excitement of it’s predecessor.

It contains much more.

It is a fictional/non-fictional tale of how many different ‘Walks’ we take in our lifetimes.

It tells of love, hate, health, sickness, richman, poorman, ice creams and life screams

It begins to show you who I was and who I was becoming.

“No willful wrongdoing ever escapes Miss Karma or Her Brother Chaos.”

LightHouse Dann Verner

My third volume, “BOON” Walks you deep into my fictional/non-fictional personal life of trials and tribulations. My uniquely twisted none the norm perception of my various realities.

It is a depiction of life as lived. A no-hold barred account of everyday life in an everyday low-income Canadian home. You will laugh, you may cry at points, you WILL be taking a true “WALK WITH DANN”.

“I will run through your veins like a fish in the sea.”

(Quoted From Uncle Kracker’s song ‘Follow Me’)

LightHouse Dann Verner

I am currently writing the final volume of the four volume Walk With Dann Collection.

“UNKZ, A Canadian Cosmonaut”

Coming August 2018

My first ‘standalone book’.

My personal favourite.

I thoroughly enjoyed the emotional ‘Walk’ while writing it and relieving that period of my life and that time of history.

The calmest years of my chaotic lives.

Below is a tidbit of the volume to whet your appetite

LightHouse Dann Verner

“A fictional journey of a hippie on a Harley exploring the times.”


The smell of the ocean danced on my nostrils as I walked, slipping and sliding, across the flats. My eyes darting to and fro, carefully scanning ahead for sink holes.

I should have been walking the other direction. Towards the junior high school. Towards hippie teachers trying to teach me of science, faith and nature.

I could hear the train in the distance. Pulling it’s tonnage of sugar cane around the bend to the refinery.

The tug boats crested the horizon. Their wake spewing behind them as they pushed against the mighty tanker so as to slow it’s unforgiving momentum. Lest it run ashore.

The shore. My foster home was there. High up the hill. It’s windows like two large eyes, taunting me with guilt.“Go to school“, they seemed to say.

I can’t“, my reply.

A brief synopsis of my “Walking On Dawes Collection

The first volume of the

Walking On Dawes Collection”


This is a tale of a family who live their lives within the government projects and gang life.

Except ‘Little Ray’. He and his family want him to break the cycle and live a normal life.

There is tragedy, laughter and most of all ‘insight’ within. A fictional tale that is also non-fictional.

A family who grew up in the projects of Toronto. That was their reality and there was nothing wrong with it, for everyone lives in a neighborhood. Only the name and addresses are different.

The first “WALK” of a ungoing inter-connected Collection of fictional “Walks On Dawes”.

The raw and naked truths from an experienced eye and soul of a Canadian Cosmonaut.

A tale of the original “URBAN VIKINGS.”

LightHouse Dann Verner

“Walking On Dawes – Volume 2”


“You Can’t See Me” – Walking On Dawes Collection – Volume 2

“This is a portrait of a broken man living a broken life in a broken world where family and friendship are one and the same.”

A man who was once “DAMAGED” but now was merely broken.

Where wrong choices can lead to lifelong regrets. Haunting the very soul and stabbing the heart daily to remind you of the penalties of actions.

Where a man can be all alone and un-noticed in a crowded room.

Where sadness shadows joy and joy masks sadness.

Where happiness and good times balance out with sadness and tragedy.

This is the life of one man and his family, on one street in one city.

A man who let his darkness blind his Light.

A tale that will surprise you at the end.

LightHouse Dann Verner

“Walking On Dawes Collection” – Volume 3


Coming July 2018

Friday’s Night

It’s dark tonight.

The rain clouds block the moon.

Makes the loneliness stronger.

Weakens my heart.

Strengthening my love.

I ask, “Where is love?”

Love is in the heart.

So, I ask, “Where lays my heart?”

The darkness answers,

“Your heart is with your love.”

I Miss You Jason.

I’ve lived over sixty years now.

In my life I have met possibly four souls as pure as Jason’s.

I am proud that he loved and respected me almost as a father.

I’m grateful and thankful that Dar Jilks crossed my celestial path and I was Blessed to watch not only Jason, but also her, mature into beautiful souls, real people, no holds barred.
I miss you Beats. I understood and still do understand who Jason “Beats” Jilks was and is.

A gentle soul, slow dancing in the empty room of life on the dark side of the Moon, as the world kept turning and no one learned from what you were learning.

I miss you Beats. My heart misses you. But, I feel you with me when my Lighthouse calls in the Windwalkers.

Your soul was as deep and pure as that of all your Indigenous ancestors.

For you Dar, I cry everyday for your heartache. I cry hoping it takes a wee bit of sorrow off your heart. Know that your boy will never be forgotten for he is here in our hearts, making us laugh and teaching us to smile again.

I am forever grateful to know both you and Jason.

Stop crying, I’m crying enough for both of us.

Till we all sit at the Round and raise our glass in cheer once again …

I remain, Dann – just as I am. Missing your physical self, yet, feeling your spirit.

Never forgotten Jason.