Category Archives: surgery

Some are confused between the radiation therapy being successful on my tumors and my cancer NOT being cured

Just got to explain my situation to those who do not understand how cancer works.
1- yes, the radiation was successful. It killed the 26 tumors.

2- I am not “cancer free”

3 – my cancer is in remission

4 – before they killed the tumors my body got very damaged. Mostly in the frontal lobes of my brain. Hence, the deafness and possible blindness. It is possible that I could easily lose all bodily functions as the frontal lobes are the most important part of our body. If the pharyngeal cancer comes back it could easily make me a vegetable.

5 – I have 2 cancers – the “pharyngeal”, which is responsible for the 23 floating neck and head tumors. 3 of which are in my brain, 3 next to my heart and 17 roaming around in my neck. These tumors are outside of my esophagus. The radiation killed the existing tumors.

THEN, I have “Squamous Cell Carcinoma” – – – this is the killer – it is responsible for the huge tumor on the base of my tongue and two little ones beside the large one. It has destroyed my tongue beyond repair. I will have a large hole in my tongue for life.

6 – For now I am safe from “cancer”, BUT, if my body doesn’t absorb the benign pharyngeal tumors the doctors will have no choice but to crack open my chest to remove the tumors by my heart – open my neck to get the ones floating in it and they are hoping that they can pop out my left eye ( cause it is already very damaged from the time I was on life support for 6 weeks and I can barely see through it) and hopefully be able to get to and remove the 3 on my brain.

They wanted to do actual brain surgery but I refused to allow them because they would have to remove the existing plate in my head and there is a 95 percent chance that my body will reject the new plate. I will not EVER allow them to open my skull. (The existing plate I have had since 1972 – obtained in Montreal during the “biker wars, nuff said about that)

So, yes, I am very happy about my diagnosis of the radiation working on the tumors.

I still have cancer.

My body has to deal with the damage from the tumors.

Also, the stroke, the septicemia poisoning, the abscess and my spleen exploding damaged a lot of my organs – which some can be repaired and some not repairable

So, my dear friends …. we have cause of celebration of the successful radiation treatment. And believe you me, I am forever thanking the Lord for His mercy.

I still have a year or more of treatments ahead of me. And many possible surgeries.

And this I shall get through via the mercy of the Lord, the Prayers and love from my beautiful Prayer Army and the love and support from my truest soul mate, Maria Angelica M.

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Nothing Less Than A Miracle

Praise the Lord!

No one is going to believe this, but I have a witness.

The doctors both said at the same time that I “am way ahead of schedule” and it appears we got all the cancer.

HIS WORDS AS WERE OURS WAS,

“It’s nothing less than a miracle”

They are dumbfounded that I have gained so much weight and I am eating regular food.

Stomach tube comes out in two weeks.

The power of your PRAYERS and the amount of LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT from all of you has been the catalyst behind this.

I will still have problems as the cancer cells and tumors continuing to die off. My body still has to repair itself.

But, the cancer met it’s match with LightHouse Dann Verner and I have been Blessed with a MIRACLE directly from God.

I want to cry I am so happy

When Maria and I left Princess Margaret Cancer Hospital it was pure joy and disbelief.

Praise God ♡

I will forever be giving thanks through prayer.

I will forever be amazed at the amount of people who joined my Prayer Army and showered me with nothing but Faith, Love and Prayers both night and day.

How do you say thank you to so many?

Maria, I fall deeper in love with you everyday. We have been through so much these past 7 years. I love you more than any words can say.

I can only show you my appreciation and gratitude for having you in my life.

#ATrueMiracle
#FuckCancer
#LightHouseDannVerner

The Dark Void

I have been through some heavy predicaments in my life that left me dazed and confused.

Looking back I wonder how I made it through most of them.

Now I have been battling this cancer.

It would not have been so difficult if I hadn’t had a minor stroke the first week of treatment – luckily the nurse was changing my IV bag as it started to happen.

The next week they discovered a huge abscess in my abdomen. Painfully it was dealt with.

Bear in mind I am also having double radiation sessions daily.

T

hen after the abscess I get hit with septicemia and almost die.

A week after that my spleen explodes.

No one knows how I survived that.

There is no way I should have survived.

And I finally graduated from my radiation treatments.

And now, as I wait for the test results to tell me if we got all the cancer, I sit here in a very dark void.

I am scared. It could be extremely bad news on the twenty – eighth or the best news ever.

But, I sit here day after day trying to stay positive and ready as any Urban Viking to go to war against the cancer again if I have to.

But this dark void contains my biggest fears, my greatest wishes, who I love, my family love.

And I am getting scared.

So, I pray and I pray from the heart and soul. I have confessed my sins to my God. I willingly accept all and any penence I may have to serve.

Prayer is what pulls me from this void.

I am scared but ready. Only a fool would state he was not afraid of the battles I have yet to fight.

Namaste’

I Am Scared

Was all excited yesterday when I heard I was soon to go home, (Thursday), then an hour later, BAM!!!

I was a completely different person.

Very ill, extremely lathargic, dizzy, confused and in pain beyond comprehension.

I slept from one in the afternoon yesterday till 6 this morning. How does anyone sleep 17 hours?

Doctors are increasing my Fentanyl to 75 milligrams. “To make me comfortable ” was their words. I have found in the past that when doctors say such things to patients with terminal illnesses, what they really mean is they won’t let you die in pain.

I am not being paranoid. I was told from the get go that my chances of survival were slim. For 2 months I have heard everyday how everyone is amazed I have “made it” this far. Add in the constant use of words like make me comfortable, use as much pain medication as I feel I need, and then there are the constant “team meetings”.

And yesterday they asked how I felt about going into a hospice. No one walks out of a hospice.

All this makes you think the worse.

I have asked for a case conference later today because if what I suspect is true just send me home to be with my dogs.

But, I won’t know for sure until they all get at the same table and tell me. It’s hard when there are so many professionals involved. 2 regular oncologists, 2 radiation oncologists, 1 ENT surgeon, a whole team of pain palative care and five or six others from dieticians, physio and psychology.

Until then all I can do is pray and pray I will.

For Those Who Wonder Where I Have Been

As most of you know in late October I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma and Pharyngeal Cancer.

Due to the advance stage conventional chemotherapy and radiation were off the table.

My only options being surgery to completely remove my tongue, larynx and most everything else within my neck or radical radiation treatments twice a day for 20 days and see what the result would be.

I, of course, opted for the radiation. I began treatment in early December.

I had to have a gastric feeding tube implanted as I would definitely need it as treatment progressed.

I was doing well until early January when I developed a very large abscess in my lower abdominal cavity between my stomach and muscles.

Mind you, this abscess had nothing whatsoever to do with the cancers or the feeding tube. It just decided to appear and grow and grow.

The fine surgeons here at Princess Margaret Cancer Hospital immediately dealt with the demon infection. Part of the process involved inserting a necessary draining tube.

If it were not for bad luck I would have no luck at all.

Hence, I had many complications from the drainage tube requiring me to spend most of January in the hospital.

Fortunately, I was still receiving my radiation therapy as per scheduled.

The infection took a fair amount of time to get cleared up and by the end of January 2019 I was declared infection free and discharged to home.

I would resume my radiation therapy as an outpatient as per the original plan of care. I was so happy to finally get to go home after almost a whole month of hospitalization.

I arrived home February first. Very sore, but happy.

I slept well the first night. The second night I had a slight pain in my back but I put that off as getting used to sleeping on my own bed instead of the hospital bunk.

I am not sure what time I woke up that morning.

What I am sure of is that I woke to the most excruciating pain you could possibly imagine.

The pain was so intense I could not even scream for help. I literally had to call to the next room to wake my good friend who was watching over me.

I honestly thought I was going to die.

Immediately she called 911 and within minutes I was in an ambulance with a police escort rushing me to the nearest hospital at full speed.

All I remember about the ambulance ride was the EMS man telling the driver they had mere minutes to get me to surgery. My blood pressure was 49 over 43.

I passed out.

Next memory was surreal – I was in an elevator, someone was cutting my shirt off and I heard the surgeon say,

I have to open him right now.”

I felt the scalpel cutting through my abdomen and I saw my blood covering everyone in the elevator.

I passed out.

I awoke many hours later in ICU.

Surrounded by my family and dearest loved ones. I was not sure if I was alive or dead. But, when I blinked my eyes, everyone single one of them cried and I knew I had survived something very serious.

My spleen had literally exploded. Like a small nuclear bomb.

Apparently I had lost almost all my blood – if not for my living so close to a hospital I definitely would not be here to author this blog.

I spent one week in the Michael Garron Hospital in East York, Toronto. Bless the surgeons there for saving my life.

I was then discharged from there do I could go into Toronto General Hospital as an in-patient and then transferred across the street to Princess Margaret Cancer Hospital where I am now.

It sounds complicated but Toronto General, Princess Margaret, Mount Sinai and a few other medical facilities are all side by side and part of the same University Health Network and also connected to The University Toronto.

I am in one of the highest rated cancer hospitals in the world and I am forever thankful that the Creators have given me yet another chance to live.

My road to recovery is going to be a long difficult journey. The spleen is an important organ. Yes, you can live without it, but I need many vaccinations and for the rest of my days I will have to be very vigilant not to get infections and such.

My radiation therapy is back on track and I finish my first series of treatments on March the first. Which is also my oldest son’s birthday – so I take that as an omen of good fortune.

I will write more at some point down the road. I just wanted my followers to know why they haven’t heard from me in a while.

People, look around at your family and friends and let them know how precious they are to you. Life can change in the blink of an eye. Or the pop of a spleen. Never be afraid to tell them you love them.

I am a tough old dude with very tough masculine friends and I have no qualms hugging them, kissing them and saying, “I love you Brother. “

The greatest gift I received from this disaster was seeing my dearest and most close friend standing there with love and joy in his eyes when I blinked that first blink. To see my sons faces fill with relief when I spoke.

Life is a precious gift and to have life and love together cannot be matched by any other thing.

Namaste’

Diagnosis: Cancer In The Neck And Head

So,since June, 2018 my throat increasingly grew more irritated and sore to the point I could no longer stand it.

On October 22, 2018 I saw an ENT specialist.

Diagnosis: cancer in my neck and head.

I fought the Big C demon twice before in my life.

1999 till 2002 I battled liver cancer. I was scared.

I just had my neck re-built. A result of thirty years of demolition, building and a very rough lifestyle. Followed by many motorcycle accidents and an industrial accident.

They did a complete dissection of my C2, C3, C5 & C6 vertebrae. Replacing them with bone donated from my right hip and Semple plates, screws, nuts & bolts.

And then the Creators slapped me with liver cancer.

Yet, I beat that Beast.

In 2005, the Beast demanded a re-match. This time it was gnawing on my bones.

Chewing up the hip I had donated bone from for the previous neck surgery.

Then attacking my few remaining teeth. Leaving me with six remaining.

As if not enough, it then chewed up my right foot resulting in it, too, needing to be completely re-built.

So, I beat that damn Beast again.

Now fast forward to present day…..

What I had hoped was merely a “sore” throat has turned out to be a collection of cancerous tumors on my tonsils, adenoids, lymph nodes and migrating towards my brain.

As I write this I am awaiting a CT scan and a following surgery. It shall hopefully be within the next two weeks.

They will be removing the afore mentioned parts and perhaps more – including my thyroid.

This does not trouble me. That would be the migration of tumors working their way towards my brain.

I like my brain. It’s iconic and extremely unique. Plus, we are very attached. Been together since my birth.

I only weight one hundred pounds with my clothes on. I jokingly say that my body is built like a rock band, “Nine Inch Nails” – for that is the size of my biceps.

It took 61 years to break this body.

You could go to the gym everyday and never be built like me.

I can barely eat. My esophagus is being pinched closed by the swelling organs and tumors within my throat.

My head aches beyond the pain of a severe migraine. I shed tears and find myself whimpering when I have solitary solitude. My nights are long.

I refused chemotherapy and radiation. It would definitely kill me if I were to attempt it

So, I will beat this damn Beast one more time.

I have to. My sons need me, I need them.

Mi fuego de mi Alma, mi Reina de mi Corazon would be broken hearted if the Beast should win.

I love her beyond love. I cannot allow her to suffer a broken heart. What type of person would break their closest love’s heart?

You can feel our love emanating from us in this picture.

I CANNOT LET MY BODY SUCCUMB TO THE RAVAGES OF CANCER!

HOW COULD I BREAK MY FAMILY AND LOVED ONE’S HEARTS?

And also, my other dearest loves. My constant companions, Princess Pringle and her sister, Princess Ruffles. They would surely fall I’ll in sorrow.

Sooooooo, I have a battle ahead of me. I am ready.

I have love from so many people – my kids, my ex-wife, my soulmate Maria, my very close nephews and true friends

I will beat this Demon.

It is just going to hurt.

Lol

But, she will be by my side. And I will receive healing from her love.

I am afraid, but I am also brave.

Why Are We Worshipping Performers and Athletes????

Ummmm, why does anyone bother to speak to Kanye West?

Kanye when he dresses himself

He’s as stupid as a crackhead and married to a media whore.

KARDASHIAN POOL PARTY

Society is so out of line with reality.

We have placed sports and entertainment on a higher pedestal than our over five thousand various “gods” we worship here on Earth.

We treat athletes like demi-gods.

Yet, who praises and honours our nurses, doctors, emergency responders?

True Heroes

They are only praised when it is news worthy.

Would West run into a burning building? Whoa, that may be a trick question because he is crazy.

These are heroes worth praising

Would Drake don scuba gear and search a river bottom for a lost soul?

Would, what’s his name, Le bra Brains, or maybe it’s LeBron something, would he remove the remains of a severe crash victim so the family had closure?

It’s a “game” – a game of overpriced tickets to pay outrageous contracts to athletes

Y’all need to focus your energy on better role models – perhaps the doctors and nurses in our hosptals, or our EMS workers.

PEOPLE – PERFORMERS AND ATHLETES ARE NOT GODS.

Wow, it’s been 19 years since I died the first time

Nineteen years ago tomorrow, March the fifth, 1999 was the first time I died.

I had surgery to remove my C2, C3 and C5 & C6 vertebrae and replace them with pieces of my hip and lots of hardware.

I died during the surgery and they had a very hard time getting me back.

My life changed that day.

It was the catalyst to ending my 32 years of marriage.

It ended my career as an electrician.

It was 19 years of pain.

Yet I remain, Dann, Just as I am

HAPPINESS IS A PLACE

Happines is a place. A physical location.

Whether it’s your secret spot by the ocean or your comfy corner chair.

Happiness is where you find your peace.

Mine is sitting anywhere with my dogs. My precious Pringles and Ruffles.

Canines are “people whisperer’s”.

Think about that …..

Winter Cabin Fever

I get very restless in the winter. The sitting day after day wishing I were younger than my sixty years and capable of handling the cold is taking it’s toll on me.

I try to go out. I really do. Every trip ends in pain. The cold somehow aggravates my spinal cord damage from when I shattered my neck in 1999.

I didn’t do it partying with Prince, or the guy formally known as such. It was the result of 600 volts blowing me off a twenty foot high ladder and as I was having a heart attack I slammed onto the concrete below head first.

As soon as the cold grips me my left leg disappears, my right hip ceases to function and the tremors start. Every piece of titanium and surgical steel immediately freeze.

From the plate in my head to the Semple plates and rods in my neck cascading like cold fire down to my reconstructed right hand and settling in my right hip replacement with the residue trickling down to my rebuilt and destroyed right foot.

Sitting here day after day thinking, “Lords, I have a lot of metal in my body.

Add to this the nine surgical procedures in the last year to remove part of my liver and repair my kidneys and rip out my gall bladder and then I know life is all about surviving.

Maybe I truly am the bionic Hippie!!!

My acquaintances and family alike say I am a non-human, a cyborg capable of withstanding incredible pain levels.

I find that odd. Pain is just pain. Unless you drug yourself with modern day prescription medication or street drugs, you will feel pain.

I deal with pain quietly. I’m not one to whine when experiencing it. 

I meditate. I write. I clean my residence. In warm months I walk.

But, now I’m plagued with being unable to walk most days. And this is a demon I cannot conquer as it is stronger than I.

Now I am a prisoner of the weather. A hostage of nature’s temper.

My father could barely walk the last ten years of his life. The same curse many of my relatives have experienced. 

I will NEVER give in or up to losing my legs. I will follow Bran of Vikings fame and build braces if I must. Never will my cute little ass sit on a bingo cart or ebike.

Cabin Fever has it’s good points though. For twenty years I have been ‘starting’ novels but never finishing them.

I’m finishing them now.

Because I have cabin fever.