I will be seeing my beautiful Irish Guardian Angel soon. If the Creators and the Cosmic Muffin are kind.
Life is kicking me bad still.
I wrote a blog about what’s happening now.
I started New Year’s walking all night. Froze two toes, one finger.
Oh, and had a bad heart attack.
I am in stage C of congested heart failure. No treatment for it.
Stage D you go into palliative care, I don’t do palliative care.
I don’t do wheelchairs or walkers either. I will never get in one of those carts. I don’t want to wear a stolen ‘pleather‘ cowboy hat from Dollerama.
If I cannot walk I will crawl. And when I cannot crawl I will tumble.
As the Jews and my religion, Natsarim say “Hineni” – “I’m ready my lord”
The greatest songwriter of all time and the greatest poet ever to live, Leonard Cohen, whose last song, the theme for the fantastic show ‘Peaky Blinders’ was “If You Want It Darker“. Explains this well.
I’ve done a DNR and a Will.
I gave all my body to science.
The med students will have a ball looking at all my implants. I am the first Bionic Hippie.
I have more metal than a modern car. Lol.
I forbid a viewing or a funeral.
They give your ashes back in a year. Keeping some parts they want.
Funeral isn’t necessary.
Most who show up will come inside for a New York minute, then go outside to smoke joints with no regard for the families of other ascended live ones laidto rest.
There will be my birth family who never speak to me because I have been an Asshole and an Embarrassment.
Like I would change from being the only “unwanted” child born to my father.
I am fine with their shunning and bigotry.
Just odd that in sixty years of life I only spent at the most five years around them.
Majority of the attendees are happy they have a reason to get smashed and fight with their spouse’s and families.
Others will use my ascension as a reason to justify the chemical addictions.
You know I’m not lying.
All my years in prison I had two visits from my father.
One which embarrassed the hell out of me, he brought my 77 year old Nanny who I hadn’t seen since I was a teen working with my Uncles at the Brockville Fertilizer Plant.
Those visits were in the first six months. I was there for years.
Never a single letter from my immediate family.
My cousin Penny kept me sane with weekly letters.
Wish I still had them. I love her for the letters.
We were also unwanted kids.
We were in the same fosterhome for two years. My last foster home before I started my street life and Heroin.
My loved ones can meet at a decent bar, gag down a shot of Wray & Nephew’s and then drink and toast my death.
For I will have ascended to my final space/time continuum and be toasting back with my Sparkle Angel, my Irish Queen, My beautiful Sheena Eve and all my ascended friends and we will be sending all of you Light, Love and Peacefulness.
The only tears should be because I am not there to make inappropriate jokes and/or comments.
I love you all. You can cry EIGHT tears now.
One for each life I’ve lived.
I would be very happy if my truest love could be there.
She does not drink or do drugs. She drinks only Tetley tea and smokes Pall Mall XL Reds.
So make damn sure they have smokes and Tetley tea bags and milk there for her .
Or I will send my Shakie back and he will slap everyone but her.
Then I’ll light her a cigarette and make her tea for her myself.
Bear in mind I’m not giving up.
I promised my Terry I would out live her because I know my death will hurt her deeply.
I would never hurt her.
I do hope I live long and I will ascend the day after her so as I can bring a smoke and a hot tea to her grave. Then I’ll ascend knowing she is ok.
But, the Creators and The Cosmic Muffin are having fun with me presently and right now I am in very bad shape.
From experience I know I am not doing very well.
So if you want to offer my prayers to YOUR GOD I am ok with that.
Pray my beautiful Terry lives to be 105.
For then I will die on my original death date at the age 112. The day after my love.
If not, my son, Dakota is to check on her daily and help her when she needs such. No questions asked!
I’ve only met one truly unique friend like her. She is a gem in a pool of Rhinestones. A very rare gem – one of a million.
If I had been Blessed to have met her back when I was released from the penitentiary my life would have been drug and gangster free.
It was ‘love at every sight’.
Most of all, RESPECT MY WISHES or I shall send the “Shake” version back.
Not too many people liked Shake.
Definitely not my two ex wives.
I DON’T believe they liked him.
I divorced the first one in 1981.
I guess I should get to divorcing Number Two, we have been seperated for around ten years now.
But, you cannot spend 32 years with someone and then stop loving them. Only a soulless person could do that.
I have as much soul as Otis Redding
(Ha, gotcha – you thought I was going to say Otis Driftwood. Didn’t you?)
Or I could save money and let her be my widow.
Only the Cosmic Muffin and The Creators know their plan for my five personalities. “Baby Boo Boo, Dann, Shake, Unkz and of course ‘LightHouse’
Oh and buy my books. I priced them very cheap. The profits will go to Dakota.
Then you all will know and understand ME.
THIS I SWEAR AS MY LAST WILL, TESTAMENT AND WISHES.
Not into this life. Not onto this space/time continuum.
On that day where will we awaken?
Our Prophets – be they false or true – they tell us we shall live again in Utopia. In Valhalla. In Heaven. (If thou has lived life according to the Gospel of Man.)
If you have lived a life against the paperback values of Earth’s ‘Holy Books’, then your final destination claims to be Hades, Hell or even worse, Salt Lake City.
Ask Kid Rock, if “Heaven isn’t a lot like Detroit”, he don’t want to go.
Those of you who follow such literature published in a faith of over five thousand “gods” you humans chose to worship know of this to be ‘your’ truths.
All of which claim to be the only ‘true’ Lord God.
It’s Saturday again. That singular day of our week whereas we awaken and lay staring at the barren ceiling and contemplate our existence.
“Is there a God? What is HIS meaning of my life?“, we ask.
Have you ever received an answer?
It’s Saturday again.
I awoke to the barren ceiling and, as you, I contemplated my existence and my final destination.
I have the advantage of having had experienced death seven known times thus far.
I have the advantage of knowing there are seven ‘multi-universes’. That each of these has seven more and so on and so on.
That’s an enormous amount of universes.
Death brings with it seven pathways – hopefully to a more comfortable ‘universe’.
You will have to make a choice and deposit the token to ride the bus to your next stop.
Choose wise or you may have to start all over again with the same love, hate and life you already know.
When you arrive at the Seven Gates, fear not the path.
For Hell is but yet another space/time continuum and it’s path will appear no different than the other six.
I know. I was there. As I shall be there for the final eighth time.
That is the one that counts, for your seven times at bat are done. The eighth ride is on the express track. The destination not yours to choose.
We do not “reincarnated”. We “relocate”.
Seven times via a path we choose.
The final pathway to an existence where we shall not recall our previous life is not a CHOICE . A path where we will create another over thought lifestyle. Another set of paternal and maternal grandparents, father and mother.
And the circle will be unbroken. By and by Lord, by and by.
Time is a measurement of man. A click of a Baum & Mercier watch. A bang on the gong of a grandfather clock.
Life is a measure of physical capabilities. Broken bodies die. Healthy ones die. Flesh wears out. Bones become fragile glass. Minds wander into foolishness and forgotten days of the past.
And all things must pass.
Existence never ceases. For seven fold upon seven fold the universes expand.
And as the cockroaches are to us, we are to them.
Pestilence or beauty? It lays within the eyes of the beholder.
Well six hours till they reset my heart and they CANNOT sedate me. Fun WOW!!!!! They are trying to prevent me from progressing from Stage C to Stage D – there is no way to go back to Stage B. They did the defibrillator last month awake and it damn well hurts and is scary.
Here’s some info …… scary situation no matter what
Patients with Stage C heart failure have been diagnosed with heart failure and have (currently) or had (previously) signs and symptoms of the condition.
There are many possible symptoms of heart failure. The most common are:
Shortness of breath
Feeling tired (fatigue)
Less able to exercise
Waking up to urinate
Swollen feet, ankles, lower legs and abdomen (edema)
Stage C treatment
The usual treatment plan for patients with Stage C HF-rEF includes:
Treatments listed in Stages A and B
Beta-blocker (if you aren’t taking one) to help your heart muscle pump stronger
Aldosterone antagonist (if you aren’t taking one) if a vasodilator medicine (ACE-I, ARB or angiotensin receptor/neprilysin inhibitor combination) and beta-blocker don’t relieve your symptoms
Hydralazine/nitrate combination if other treatments don’t stop your symptoms. Patients who are African-American should take this medication (even if they are taking other vasodilator medications) if they have moderate to-severe symptoms.
Medications that slow the heart rate if your heart rate is faster than 70 beats per minute and you still have symptoms
Diuretic (“water pill”) may be prescribed if symptoms continue
Restrict sodium (salt) in your diet. Ask your doctor or nurse what your daily limit is.
Keep track of your weight every day. Tell your healthcare provider if you gain or lose more than 4 pounds from your “dry” weight.
Possible fluid restriction. Ask your doctor or nurse what your daily fluid limit is.
Possible cardiac resynchronization therapy (biventricular pacemaker)
Possible implantable cardiac defibrillator (lCD) therapy
If treatment causes your symptoms to get better or stop, you still need to continue treatment to slow the progression to Stage D.
Stage D and reduced E
Patients with Stage D HF-rEF have advanced symptoms that do not get better with treatment. This is the final stage of heart failure.
Stage D treatment
The usual treatment plan for patients with Stage D heart failure includes:
Treatments listed in Stages A, B and C
Evaluation for more advanced treatment options, including:
Ventricular assist devices
Continuous infusion of intravenous inotropic drugs
Palliative or hospice care
Stages C and D with preserved EF
Treatment for patients with Stage C and Stage D heart failure and reserved EF (HF-pEF) includes:
Treatments listed in Stages A and B
Medications for treatment of medical conditions that can cause heart failure or make the condition worse, such as atrial fibrillation, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, coronary artery disease, chronic lung disease, high cholesterol and kidney disease
Diuretic (“water pill”) to reduce or relieve symptoms
AND “YES” I AM SCARED – BUT I HAVE THE LOVE AND PRAYERS OF MY TWO QUEENS, TERRY & MARIA, WHICH GIVE ME HOPE AND MY IRISH GUARDIAN ANGEL IN HEAVEN “SHEENA EVE”.
HOPEFULLY I WILL BE ABLE TO POST THIS TIME TOMORROW – IF NOT I WILL SEE YOU ALL ON THE DARKSIDE.