Tag Archives: Heaven

The Original Hippie or Perhaps, “Has Anyone Seen My Prophet? “

This blog I originally published 10 years ago.

My views and beliefs are still somewhat the same.

Since what I have been through in the last three months my Faith has grown much stronger.

What I am trying to convey here is that how do we identify a “prophet”?

A false prophet is easily discovered, but how in today’s society would we be able to recognize a true prophet. For all we know we may have the real one locked up in an institution with the numerous false ones.

Or he/her cold be hiding their identity until society learns to stop killing each other in the name of “religion”.

I truly believe that Jesus existed and was somehow able to communicate with the Creator. I believe he was very intelligent and far ahead of his time .

You have to keep in mind that in his time ninety percent of man were uneducated, illiterate and still worshipping false idols.

Could a charismatic, educated man be capable of influencing followers? Hell, yes most certainly.

Jesus could have been an alien or the last brilliant mind to come from Atlantis for all we really know.

Why we’re the first 14 books of the Bible removed by “religious” leaders of the day?

There is a great difference between being a religious follower and a true believer of faith.

All the “Holy Books” of that time had to be written in simple language form so as the average citizen could understand the messages.

Our genetic need to be the best and only one who knows what is truth has misconstrued what Jesus was sent to teach us.

But, we murdered him because, firstly, he was right and secondly, he was far too charismatic and thereby a threat to all religions .

So, here we had this poor soul traveling the world trying to enlighten society on the ten Commandments and teach us how to live peaceful and meaningful lives.

We returned the favor by killing him in the name of religion .

There have been many more “true prophets” since Jesus. But, modern day “religion” has been able to make us disbelievers of truth so as Faith does not interfere with the big money game we have labeled “Religion”.

Because we have not evolved much since Jesus’s time .

Which leaves us wondering, as I state below, “Who is the Jesus of this time period?

Originally published in July 2009 in my http://dannverner.blogspot.ca site ……….

The Original Hippie

I was recently asked if I believed in Jesus Christ.

What anxiety this raised within me – it was though I had been waiting for some soul to ask me this deep question.

Here is my mindset on this controversial topic.

I definitely believe in Jesus.

I believe he walked upon this big blue marble.

I believe he spread the words of the Creators.

I believe he was a man who was ahead of his time in the area’s of logic, societal disposition and culture.

Jesus was a man.

I do NOT believe he was the SON OF GOD. (Where is Mrs. God?)

Whoa, now I have stepped into it……..so, here I go…………..

Jesus was a Prophet.

Jesus was a peaceful, gentle scholar who wished only to make an immature society overstand the reality of spiritualism and human reality.

Jesus was the original Hippie.

Jesus was born at the wrong time.

Jesus was persecuted for his overstanding of what this plain of existence was, is and shall be.

In the rock opera, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, the title song asks the question, “Why did you choose such a backward time in such a backward land?”. Did he choose? Or was that what the Creators decided was necessary for the plain of space/time continuum in this particular multiverse?

Jesus was a soul man.

Through all time, through all plains of reality and through all seven multi-universes there has been Prophets. Be it Jesus, Siddhartha, Gandhi, Aristotle or John Lennon, makes no nevermind – they are just the vessel. The message is always the same. To quote Led Zeppelin, “The Song Remains The Same”.

Jesus was the father of the peace, love, forgiveness and unity movements.

LEAVES ONE TO WONDER, “WHO IS THE JESUS OF NOW?

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In My Secret Life

We all have many ‘lives‘ per se.

We all have that one secret life. With most it is a harmless secret.

I have put most my lives out there. In blogs and in my novels.

Yet, I have that one life I rarely reveal …….

My ‘secret‘ life.

The one where I cry dry tears, moaning silent cries of regrets and anguish.

To quote Leonard Cohen,

“I bite my lip
I buy what I’m told:
From the latest hit
To the wisdom of old
But I’m always alone
And my heart is like ice
And it’s crowded and cold
In my secret life”

The one that haunts my sleep and steals my rest. Leaving me ashamed and broken.

The one I have no words to describe. The one that stole my happiness in life.

I had a concept of happiness in my life, not to say I had never experienced such. But, I stole that from myself by my refusal to follow my dreams at a younger age. A theft of my future. Robbing myself of what my life could have been if I had dropped the masks of being an old school rebel tainted by my hatred of living.

Perhaps it was my Heroin fogged adolescent years. Or perhaps the intoxicated cloud of my twenties. It may have even been my refusal to secure a solid base for my elder years.

It may be the guilt of stealing away my many children’s futures.

It definitely has led to my self flogging. To my lashing my spiritual back thirteen stripes each and every evening before I lay down to suffer the horrors of flashbacks for crimes of my past.

I have done things most only read about in novels or see upon the screens of televisions during prime time movies.

Things best never revealed. Lest cause more pain for my family and friends.

I have danced with the Devils. I have shared meals with Evil. I have choked down the truth as I concocted lies to cover my tracks. Burying the evidence six cold feet below the eyes of society.

I will dance with the Devils again. In an eternal ballet of penance and regrets. Karma and her brother Chaos have shadowed me for six decades. They await me still in Valhalla.

Perhaps my beloved mother, (ironically her name is ‘Mary‘), saw this at my birth. Thus, leaving me to thrive or die at six months of age.

I have ‘Walked‘ my seven plains of time and space continuum’s. My eighth, the final ‘Walk” we all will stride, shall be my version of your ‘Heaven‘ or far more likely your ‘Hell“.

I already know what awaits me after my final death. Perhaps many years from now when I know it is my time I shall write that final chapter in a book or blog.

Part of my penance has been remembering my first seven cracks at the bat of life. We are not suppose to remember the ‘Seven Walks’. That is a pleasure only those with no guilt get to enjoy. Reserved for those who followed society’s basic rules. Your Ten Commandments, for lack of a better term. I broke nine of the Biblical ten – I have never committed adultery while still with my beloved wife. Having not divorced and having been separated for years, as she went her way and I mine, I have technically committed adultery as defined by their Bible.

In reality, I have never strayed while loving and living with my wife, Jennifer.

“Why eat a cookie when you have a beautiful cake at home?”

All my life I often joked that I was awaiting the return of the ‘Mothership‘. This I now know was my inner child waiting for my mother to return to that cold, damp crib in that empty house and show me a mothers love. I never have had the opportunity to be rewarded with that emotion.

My secret life is/was the pain that moment implanted into my soul. The Mothership will never come. For that ship blasted off to a different world then I shall ever know.

The scars of her choice left me with a defiance and darkness that can not be explained. The only physical evidence being my life of refusing to bend to the ways of man. My strong willed desire to shout blatantly,

“And I will not be commanded
And I will not be controlled
And I will not let my future go on
Without the help of my soul.”
(The Lost Boy – Greg Holden)

But, does one born into evil and abandonment have a soul?

Unfortunately for me, I am not in the position to answer that. For what I experienced while dead seven times I am not able to explain in words. I have detailed most of the experiences as best I could in my books and past blogs.

Some things are best left untold so as not to destroy your concept of life and death.

I have tried to make amends. Hence my inviting you to come “Walk With Dann.” A futile attempt to reach out to hopefully steer one soul away from the path I chose.

My Walks with you can only take you as far as your reality. For my reality is only shared with others who have strode a similar path as I have. I am not the only one to have been cursed with remembering the Seven Walks. Knowing that number eight holds no choice. That there will be only one path the final ride. Not the seven choices we are all given with the first seven. Dante’ knew of these when he scribe his “Inferno”.

The saddest part of all this is that I have many years yet to pay my penance. There lay before me decades carrying the weight of wrongs upon my broken back. I suspect I shall bear this cross till I reach the age of 112. For I have been told by the Creators that I shall live till then. Mind you they lay no guarantee that it will be a pleasant journey. In fact, it will be a painful existence wrought with discomfort and pain.

Physics teaches that for every action there lays an equal yet opposite reaction. Faith teaches the same. Good versus evil – push versus pull. Light versus dark. Truths versus lies.

Each night for nigh on sixty years I have been plagued with sleep not arriving until all my wrongs play out like a collection of short vignettes and seal my eyes into sleep with dry tears and silent screams.

This is my “Secret Life

 

Three Little Birds

You know your day is Blessed when your Guardian Angel sends three little birds to sing “Good Morning”.

You made me cry in public, Sheena Eve. I miss you so, so greatly …
Yet, that is ok for my tears were of the joy of having you in my life.

So, save me a seat at the round and when I ascend we shall toast an Irish cheer and “sparkle” in the Light of Love and Friendships.

Bless you for guiding me and keeping me on track. 

Bless you my Irish Queen for allowing me to be a part of your life.

HINENI – I AM READY MY LORD 

Everyday I try to convince myself to stay positive.  

Everyday.

Everyday I struggle with the meaning of MY existence on this beautiful planet.  

Everyday life kicks me in my testicles. Relentlessly, cruelly, constantly and all hope dwindles. 

I cannot comprehend how much penance YOUR “God” demands from me. 

Yes, I did many a wrong. 

Yes, I broke nine of Catholicism’s Ten Commandments.  

(I can go to my Hell knowing that I NEVER committed “Adultery”.) 

So, at least I have that.

I am in such a dire place. 

The end of every month I gaze at my cheque and try to construct someway to pay the deposit of the first and last month’s rent as required in Ontario to obtain a place.

I, also, have to pay for lodging at whomever has reached out to help me until I can get my own place.  

I,  also, must feed my Son, my dogs and I eat once every day or two – mostly every second day. 

I don’t drink or even smoke weed anymore.  

Intoxicated existence is for COWARDS who do not have the capability or balls to face their lives.

I may be a petite man, but I definitely have big balls.

I hide nothing about my life. 

I confess openly my digressions and I admit willingly the harms and dangers I placed upon society.

Yet, my penance is still active.  

I pray – constantly – to MY ‘Many Faced Gods ‘. I ask THEM for forgiveness and guidance.

And yet, I am crying.

And I do not want to cry anymore. 

I do not want to battle the Demon constantly telling me to swallow a 44 Magnum bullet. 

I do not want to battle the Demon constantly telling me to “FRACK IT” and return to the ‘Easy Street’ of dealing China White, Black Tar and Afghani weapons. 

I will never again place Canadian dollars into the hands of the very people who are plotting to annihilate the existence of my fellow ‘infidels’.

I pray everyday to finally be allowed to live somewhere. 

That prayer is yet to be answered.  

And I know not what to do.  

I am not a dreg on society. 

I cannot simply “call my worker” and receive a free handout. 

I will NOT sell drugs, weapons or souls ever again. 

I will NEVER return to the biker or Bloods life. 

I AM FIGHTING MY MULTIPLE DEMONS.

I AM FIGHTING TO SURVIVE FOR MY SON, FOR MY FAITHFUL DOGS AND FOR MY BEAUTIFUL QUEENS. 

FOR LIFE IS ABOUT WHO SHOWS YOU “TRUE LOVE” AND HOW DEVOTED YOU ARE TO ACCEPTING AND RETURNING THAT SAID LOVE.

I never knew of love as a child, hell, I barely knew of it as an adult until MY Gods allowed me to share my heart with Terry and Maria.  

I am a Blessed man for that allowance.

I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYMORE. 

I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE ELSE EVER AGAIN. 

On June 29th, this coming Thursday,  I will finally know how many days, months or years I may live.

I am ready for the result

As the Jewish pray, “HINENI – I AM READY MY LORD”. 

I confessed to my Gods my willingness to pay the price for the sins I have committed towards “YOU”, my fellow man.

I am willing to let my penance be a slow and painful death. 

All I beg for is to somehow obtain a place to call my own once again.  A place where I can smile through the pain and watch my Son and my dogs live a proper life.

And if not …….

then let the Demons win ….

and take me now, suffer not my tormented soul yet one more day  …..

for I AM ready my Lords – if beit the price I am to pay.

HINENI – MY LORDS – HINENI