Tag Archives: inspiration

Who I Am

I am ‘LightHouse Dann Verner’.

2018-06-13 141894308174..jpeg

A man who some say has lived many tragic lives.

The first decade of my life I had lived in thirty-two homes. None of which I ever spoke the words, “Mom or Dad”. Only “Mister or Misses”.

I started my ‘Walks’ at the age of ten fighting the monsters in my head. The demons were winning for many years.

I left my siblings Father’s house at the age of twelve to join a hippie commune and learned how to be a Heroin addict.

I have never slept in my father or mothers house since that day.

That was over fifty years ago.

Foster care, jails, pain, sorrow and addiction were my childhood friends. My playgrounds were the streets.My rocking horse a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

Finally I was rescued via an arrest. Rescued from certain death.

Next was real life recovery. ‘Cold turkey’ style in Dorchester Federal Penitentiary.

Where, after many years, I finally found “ME”.

I have never gone back to jail since my release in 1981.

book-covers126358494

The powers that be Blessed me with three sons and many other “sons and daughters” that wandered into my life from broken homes.

I still have demons but I have learned to live with them. I can never undo the pains and sorrow I inflicted on my family and others.

But, I can stand as a man and take responsibility and hopefully be a better man and role model for those who are in my life.

I started blogging in 2002. It was a release of the demons within.

The blogging led to my becoming an author.

TLCC (2)

The author led to my wanting the world to know who I was and who I achieve to become.

I write my books for me and my inner persona’s.

For the reader, I tell my stories.

If my story changes but one life, then I have succeeded.

 

I paid a high price for my actions. Lost my childhood, my teens and yet I hold my head high for,

I am ‘Dann’, just as I am.

And so it is that I am ……..

So, come, Walk With Dann.

Advertisements

There Is A Difference Between Decriminalizing And Legalization Of Drug Possession

There is a difference between decriminalizing and legalization of ‘simple’ drug possession.

Yet, many drug addicts will misinterpret decriminalization as legalization.  Because, face it, many street level drug addicts are numb to reality and often have perception problems in the area’s of law and societal tolerances.

Get as mad as you wish – I have a half century of being a drug user. I have been a heroin addict, a speed freak, a pothead and I have ventured through Electric Lady Land via LSD. I have been a user, a small time dealer and at times a major player in the import/export side of the criminal avenues of hardcore drug trafficking.

In July, 2001 Portugal “decriminalized” personal use drug possession. These changes did not legalize drug use. What the Law did was basically change the penalty so that a simple drug possession charge will not leave you with a criminal record that could come back to haunt you later in life.

IT IS STILL AGAINST THE LAW TO USE OR POSSESS DRUGS IN PORTUGAL!

They treat possession and use of small quantities of these drugs as a public health issue, not a criminal one. Authorities don’t arrest anyone found holding what’s considered less than a 10-day supply of an illicit drug — a gram of heroin, ecstasy, or amphetamine, two grams of cocaine, or 25 grams of cannabis. Offenders receive a citation and are ordered to appear before so- called “dissuasion panels” made up of legal, social, and psychological experts. Key word being “dissuasion”. They use all available avenues to dissuade drug use.

They are not simply left to walk away free with their drugs. Often the citation results in aversion therapy. Ranging from motivational counseling to opiate substitution therapy. Repeat offenders are not permitted to continuously destroy their lives. They are offered help via medical and psychological drug counselling professionals. This is followed up and enforced.

The combination of the law, social and health services is what has made their model a success.

Now, here in Canada we have begun to seriously look at this model. But, is Canada ready for the implementation of such?

I do not believe so. Not yet. There has to be a nationwide agreed upon policy in place before it is implemented.

Look at how the decriminalization of marijuana is already becoming problematic and it has not been legalized yet.

The legalization of marijuana is being RUSHED into effect on October 17, 2018 to boaster the failing Trudeau government statistics and hopefully obtain re-election by once again obtaining the youth, idiots and criminal vote. Even though the provincial governments are saying they are not ready yet. Even though the Police associations are saying they are not ready yet. Even though the country will have ten or more different approaches and methods of dealing with such as no two provinces are using the same models.

One is left to wonder why Canadians are so quick to jump on the obvious Trudeau “Oh look, I am such a modern political leader” train with little knowledge or outlook to what will happen further down the road.

But, in Trudeau’s defense – my fellow countrymen did vote him  because he had nice hair, promised legalization and jumped on the LGBT bandwagon while claiming to be a feminist supporter. (Disregard the 18 year old allegation of sexual assault and/or misconduct that he apologized for, but claims he did nothing wrong because he cannot remember doing it. Yet, he took immediate action towards his own cabinet members accused of less a sexual allegation. Just saying.)

I am dumbfounded by the Canadian authorities not building a nation wide model for Marijuana Decriminalization based on the success of Colorado’s successful legalization. Colorado did not jump into the swimming pool fully clothed and drown from the weight of soaked clothing. They carefully and  meticulously debated and researched until they had a universal plan accepted by the majority of their citizens.

If we Canadian citizens do not soon open up our eyes and mouths then soon all the monkeys will be running our zoo. Tim Horton coffee shop gatherings of bitchy seniors and bar room debates do not inform the powers to be as to what the citizens desire and demand.

Canadians will gather by the hundreds to protest the leader of another country, yet, gather by the mere tens to protest that which is destroying our Canadian ways of life and our values.

WAKE UP SHEEP! THE WOLF IS IN THE PASTURE!

So sayeth The LightHouse Dann Verner on this the 16th day of July, 2018.

Get The First Volume of my Walk With Dann Collection Free in ebook Format

OK Kiddies,

From April 24th until April 28th you can get a copy of my first book “DAMAGED” from my “Walk With Dann Collection” in eBook format via my author page on Amazon Kindle.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B077SGXHLB#about_kindle_edition_secondary_view_div_1524603245212

amazon.com/author/lighthouseverner

img_20180218_013900_212179204141.jpg
“DAMAGED” begins at my birth and takes you on the journey through the first quarter of my life.
Here’s a tidbit of what you will find …………

“The first decade of my life I had lived in thirty-two homes. None of which I ever spoke the words, “Mom or Dad”. Only “Mister or Misses”.

I started my ‘Walks’ at the age of ten fighting the monsters in my head. The demons were winning for many years.

I left my siblings Father’s house at the age of twelve to join a hippie commune and learned how to be a Heroin addict.

I have never slept in my father or mothers house since that day.

That was over fifty years ago.

Foster care, jails, pain, sorrow and addiction were my childhood friends. My playgrounds were the streets.My rocking horse a Harley Davidson motorcycle.”

I hope you enjoy and follow up with “BANE” and “BOON” – the next two in the collection.

I am currently writing “UNKZ – A CANADIAN COSMONAUT” which shall be the final book in the series.

book-covers-1809229937.png

Check out my stand alone book about a hippie on a Harley,

THE LAST CANADIAN COSMONAUT

41yFArZjajL._SY346_

I am currently writing volume 3 of my

WALKING ON DAWES COLLECTION

titled

6315

‘WALKING ON DAWES COLLECTION”

VOLUME 1

“I WANT TO BE FLOKI”

51BuKY5oGtL

VOLUME 2

“YOU CAN’T SEE ME”

51N6VG0nWoL._SY346_

A Preview of the Final Volume of my “Walk With Dann Collection”

“This is the final volume of my “Walk With Dann Collection”.

It will wrap up with the fourth segment of my life. It shall show how the paths and choices I made in my life brought me the penance and punishments that came attached. It will reveal how I “walked” many roads and how they molded me into the person I have become.”

UNKZ, A CANADIAN COSMONAUT

Walk With Dann Collection

Volume 4

Final Volume
1st Edition

by

LightHouse Dann Verner

Introduction

There are deeply complicated thoughts that haunt you, when you well know you are insane.

Insane by their standard.

I believe I am just Dann, just as I am.

I am not like others.

I am not them.

I am me.

Yet, there are multiple “me’s”.

And they are all I can or should be.

As the previous confessions of my life told within my first work, “Damaged, tells, I am, ‘broken

Began at birth.

Blue baby.

Unplanned child.

Unwanted but wanted.

And left to die before I had lived.

Only my deepest consciousness knows what I have experienced.

To keep my spirit alive my mind vaulted those days far in the depths of the encrypted memories.

Never to be re-lived.

Never to scar my soul once more.

Now, I am soon to be sixty-one years old and it is time for me to end this “Walk With Dann Collection” with this, my final volume.

To give closure to the three previous quarters of my numerous lives.

I am not soon to ascend.

But, my Walk With Dann Collection must contain a sincere final volume of my most innermost beliefs and thoughts.

For I cannot author them after I reach my own personal concept of Valhalla.

A final confession of both my rights and my wrongs.

I will utter exact truths, I will hold no quarter from exposing who I have become in the final quarter of a Canadian Cosmonaut’s life.

My life has been no different than yours.

My strife, my loves, my sorrows, my learning and my battlefield are far different than yours.

I present to you ………….

Unkz, A Canadian Cosmonaut”

Walk With Dann Collection,

Volume 4,

Final Edition

By

LightHouse Dann Verner

SHOW THIS YOUNG LADY FRIENDLINESS DOES EXIST

This made me cry.

Let’s show this young lady that people do care about the emotions of others. 

The world is a dark place for people with what we have selfishly labelled as “Special Needs”. 

Everyone “needs“, we are just so self-centred we neglect to see the needs of others.

In this time where everything is debated, movies and TV shows promote sex and violence and all we ever hear about is turmoil, wars and paranoia we have forgotten to “ Stop and smell the roses.”

Here, is a bright flower surrounded by dandelions and weeds. 

Show some love people!!!!

Peace, Love and Light is becoming a rarity.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/birthday-cards-for-kaitlin-1.4484677

Sweating In Summer’s Worth

Sweating In Summer’s Worth

I sweat. Very extremely. Too damn much.

Doctor’s know not why.

It is embarrassing to say the least.

Within five minutes outside, I appear as though I took a shower with my clothes on.

I believe it is due to the fact that I was born by the Atlantic ocean and it’s constant ocean breeze. Like a salmon, our bodies know where we belong. It becomes a genetic marker.

I left New Brunswick in 1972. Now reside eleven hundred miles from the nearest ocean. Eleven hundred miles from being able to breathe and function. Eleven hundred miles from the beautiful arms of the Goddess of Tides.

As a child I spent most my waking hours sitting on the shores of “Saint’s Rest” on the west side of Saint John. I grew up in the deep south end of the city, but would walk an hour and a half to find solitude and quiet in Nature’s grasp. (That and my foster parents would never search for me there.)

What a beautiful place to be a heroin addict and consume LSD.

The ebb and flow of the mighty Atlantic – the ferociousness of that mighty Whore of Oceans was mesmerizing. Hypnotically trapping me into understanding how meagre we humans are. Acknowledging to me how insignificant people are compared to the force of Nature. How, with just one wave SHE could eliminate our existence.

And through my teenage years as a junkie and drug user, I realized that life has to have meaning.

What pray tell is the meaning of YOUR life?”

I know somewhat the meaning of my being here. Yet, I understand it not. I have learned to accept my life for that which it may be.

During my early teens, I am sure friends and family both had a hidden lottery on how long I could “Walk With Dann” or “Dance With Shake”. Nineteen was the targeted year, I believe.

I turned eighteen in prison with a long time before ‘PAROLE’.

Thank you Many Faced God for Sentence Appeals. For now I have left “Dancing With Shake” behind me as I “Walk With Dann”.

Shake was evil, Dann is remorseful and pays the penance of the crimes of Shake.

Dann is full of guilt.

I need not go into those details as they are laid out truthfully and completely in my previous blogs and writings.

Yet, I sweat still.

Embarrassed when entering a store or applying for an apartment, etc. No matter how I dress, I arrive as wet as a nun’s vagina at a Justin Beiber concert.

I am positive that to some I appear as a ‘crackhead’ or just as a ‘dirty’ man.

I despise sweating.

I have resided in Toronto, Ontario, Canada for nigh on thirty seven years thus far. I am still sweating as much as the day I stepped off the Air Canada plane that delivered me from prison.

I am sweating profusely at this moment.

And I hate it.

I do not drink the water here. There is no water in Ontario. Just some clear weird liquid that oozes from my taps. Not sure if I need a knife and fork to consume it. Down home water has flavour. You can taste the Nature locked within. It’s cooling caress hugs you as it courses down your gullet.

Drinking New Brunswick water is a pleasure.

Drinking Toronto water is a roll of the dice.

But, how can I sweat so darn much without re-hydrating what I am losing?

I am puzzled by this.

I truly believe my purpose on this Big Blue Marble is to serve as a prime example of how NOT to live life.

I beg all of you, young and old alike, do not look for FALSE GLORY in the gangster life. Never have the belief that drugs solve life’s problems. Never “Dance With Shake”.

Feel free to “Walk With Dann”.

Never refuse to atone for the wrongs you have committed. Never refuse to own up to your actions.

No matter what your past may have held it cannot and WILL NOT disperse into infinity. It shall always come back to haunt you later in life.

All the sweating in the world will never wash your soul clean.

And so, I sweat profusely. Till I finally reach your version of Hades and the heat evaporates my past.

I woke Up And Realized It Was Confession Time………

I woke Up And Realized It Was Confession Time………

(Re-post – original posting March 2008 dannverner.spaces.live)

I woke Up And Realized It Was Confession Time………

Interesting thought……

In my 38 years living on my own in the deepest roots of the darkest part of society and then later in years living in the deepest roots of being rich and “Joe Citizen”, then returning to become a meager man, “Just Dann”, I have discovered a few things that have been constant throughout all ages – some people are good, some evil and some are agitators in the machine.

The reason our youth are like they are is the learned behaviorism from us adults. Our media, our ways and our quest to hide behind intoxicants and drugs so that we do not see the reality we have created. Our constant and very much genetic habit of “finding a reason to misplace blame”, our reluctance to readily admit, “I fucked up”.

There is quite a difference in allowing one’s self to want to save society and people as a whole and trying to bail out a sinking ocean liner.

Some elements in our society are “bad apples” – they MUST exist for in an universe that is based on physics and said physical law that for “Every action there is an opposite and equal reaction”, there will always be good and bad, evil and angelic, criminal and law abiding, dealers and undercover officers and most of all hate and love. In most dictionaries this would be defined in simple terms as “Human Life”.

But, there are some elements to modern societal dance that should be dealt with differently. For to be “high” from morning till night has become the norm with all our youth, because all the adults are constantly going to bars, smoking pot, taking headache medicines, promoting sex and neglecting the basic rules of “Teaching by example”.

I have personally encountered many souls that I thought had a truthful outlook on society and themselves. I was wrong with many.

In my life walk I estimate, and this would be a liberal figure, that I have encountered and exchanged thoughts with well over ten thousand people. I was a “Siddhartha” of the seventies, eighties and nineties.

I ventured on a quest to understand my fellow man and by doing so I had habitually become a “questioner” and a “recorder of thoughts”.

My mind is filled with a collage of other people’s poyls of wisdom, their lives and what society had dumped upon their laps. I have been disgusted with the way that everyone immediately finds a reason to put the onus or blame on other people. Any apology or statement that ends with a “BUT YOU” is not an apology – it is an “opinion”, and an opinion is only worth as much as the honesty and realism of the person from which it comes.

Society was and is constructed on a “fail or survive” structure. Thereby, I am saying onto you, “that whoever or whatever decided to create us, also put into place a pathway of tricks to make us learn the difference between right and wrong”.

They gave us ‘truth and honesty’ as also the opposing ‘lies and deceit’.

I have done many wrongs in my life – and any who have really “known” me, any who have actually “Walked with Dann”, will tell you straight up that I do take blame for my actions or any and all of my part in a downfall or misguided intention.

When do I more commonly do this? Simply answered…my habitual relapsing into the under belly of society – the twenty year old Biker and gang-banger coming once more to the fifty year old worn down surface of Dann’s World.

There was a time in my life whereas I lived by the gun, the gun was my big brother, my voice and my constant companion. That gun led to me not knowing the beauty of a high school dance, not experiencing a 17th,18th,19th,20th,21st,22nd and many other birthdays and Christmases. That gun led to me harming my fellow man……..that gun left me with a life long regret and sorrow that can not be removed or forgotten.

I had two distinctively different but also equal “GUNS” – I had the physical ‘9mm full auto mag’ accompanied by the universally gang related ‘sawed off pump 12 gauge’ – that was the visual “gun”, but my secondary “gun” was the most harmful.

My secondary weapon was “drugs” – and my desire to do them at the expense of creating a large group of addicted customers – so as their “grief’s” and their “destruction” lay at my hand. For is I had to spend a thousand dollars per day on my arm, then they would have to buy four thousand from my coffers.

So, I now must go through my life wondering how many deaths my selling Heroin has caused, how many robberies, how many home invasions – how much sorrow did my being a “PUSHER” create in this world?

I could have chosen to be a “drug dealer”, but I wanted to ride for free so, I became a “drug pusher”. Listen to Steppenwolf’s “The Pusher” – listen carefully.

What is the difference you are asking? A drug ‘dealer’ sells his product to those who seek him out and he deals in harmless drugs like hashish or marijuana, whereas the “Pusher” deals in addictive opiates and man made concoctions that lead to destruction, he does not ‘sell’ but rather ‘promotes’ to his customers.

This is just one example of what happens within our societal structures. Another example is a very basic and easily explained and often occurring instance of common human characterization.

“What troubles walk into our lives are those that you readily open your arms too.”

I have done this so many times, I am thankful that I did. For, every time I foolishly let my guard down and permitted to let past habits and past acquaintances to enter into the realm of my life as I have chosen to live it the past few years, every time I have fell victim to my own misjudgments.

You cannot and should not play both sides of the societal FENCE. The Cosmic Muffin or “GOD” if you wish, she placed that fence there for a reason. The “FENCE” is the “APPLE” in the Garden of Eden. The barrier of good vs. evil.

In short, sometimes when you stretch out that hand in friendship and care, the receiver may just as well bite your fingers off. There are those who can be saved and those who will lead you on to accomplish their own agenda and goals.

There are many who disagree with my philosophies and many who like to lay blame on me for the out right defilement of my deserved respect. Oh well! They can get over it. I am not the gun-toting and very evil “Shakie Dann” of my past, I am “Dann – just as I am”.

I will still spread my Light on those who need and want it. I will not make excuses or take blame for the actions of others and their need to mask their failures, fears and lives with the absolute need to be intoxicated or “high” everyday. Nor will I understand how some who call themselves our friend can enter into another person’s domain at their will and create such havoc that the blame falls solely on the one who suffered at that intrusion.

If it smells like a useless human who cares only about downgrading and harming his fellow human then that is what it is.

I have admitted readily that I was not always a good soul, I can readily admit that in certain circumstances I can very easily become a dangerous person. BUT, I CAN ALSO ADMIT THAT I DO NOT WANT THAT LIFESTYLE…….I DO NOT WANT TO BE PRESENT NEAR GROWN MEN WHO SPEAK OF BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE THEY ARE WHORES TO BE MANIPULATED AND USED AS A TAMPON FOR THEIR SELFISH DESIRES. I REFUSE TO ALLOW BAD PEOPLE TO DO BAD THINGS TO MY LOVED ONES. TO DISRESPECT THE DOMAINS AND FEELINGS OF OTHERS. TO DO HARM.

In closing may I state that I am a remorseful man for my actions of my past, this is why I am on my walk through your realms. I desire to make a change, if it be only one soul in my whole lifetime or a thousand souls. I want only to make a change – to create one soul who does not have to realize or live through what my life has seen.

You can only save those who grab the life line. There is no intoxicant that remove a problem, it can only mask it.

Peace!

Inspiration Equals “Hereo’s In Black”

What Matte has done with “Heroe’s In Black” is inspiring. There needs to be an awakening and we all need to have the drive and heart these Angels have.

Watch this video and see how Matte strived, struggled and focused on a dream that turned to reality….