“Blessed is the Wanderer. For when their path comes to an end a LightHouse shall they become.” LDV 01/09/2018
I am turning 60 this coming October the fifth.
Six of your manmade decades.
“What is time?”
There be many theories regarding it.
Many interpretations of existence of measured moments.
I believe in our existence on this plain of space/time continuum.
We are here.
We will ascend.
We begin passing as soon as we inhale our first birth breathe.
“Death“, as we believe it, is inevitably a certain fact.
Our lifespan is pre-measured.
We are birthed and we will ascend.
Maybe even this day.
Society measures time to control the masses.
Subliminal controlled behaviour to corral the people.
Night time is for rest, relaxation and mating rituals.
That is, unless you must work so as society does not tumble into disarray.
Daytime is for employment, subliminal slavery and serving the elitist government cronies.
All this measured and metered by a “calendar”. Whose first day falls upon the death of a “Messiah“. Numerous faiths share this calendar, yet, others measure from the earliest recordings of their said “faith”.
“I cannot be party to a measured, metered or structured guideline for life and it’s existence.”
I am simply “mature”.
No longer a suckling adolescent.
No longer a “youth” awkwardly stumbling through puberty.
Some say I am a “man”.
(True story – I Googled it.)
My belongings are old, my knowledge is ancient and my life experience is constantly expanding over new horizons.
I have not wore a timepiece in twenty or more years.
Normally I do not carry a cellular device.
I usually have no clue as to what “time” it is by your learned mind.
I do know I “exist”, now, back then and, perhaps, tomorrow.
“WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?”
Although my life is currently chaotic, I exist with the comfort of watching the rising Sun and enjoying the rising Moon.
I do not recognize this as a day, but, rather another of the Blessings of Yahuwah and an honourable position as a LightHouse – a Watchman in a modern day Tower of Faith.
Hineni, my Lord.
When my existence in this continuum fades, my Ascension to the Final Light begins.
“HINENI, I’M READY MY LORD”
As I sit here on this sunny Sunday gazing out at my beloved Scarborough – that East Side slab of the Greater Toronto Area, I ponder.
The GTA is famous for having as many trees as people.
Below is a few pictures of the average view from any point in this marvelous city within a city.
As you can see, it’s a concrete jungle with a green laced frock.
People forget to look around at times.
Walking their paths with their mind on their money and money on their mind.
Heads forcibly bent down waiting for the next electronic message.
Blinded by the hustle and bustle of modern day survival.
Prisoners of busy lifestyle and the constant worry of “How will I make it till cheque day”.
This saddens me.
I am a victim, also. Many days I sit on the balcony oblivious to the trees, the birds and even the squirrels dancing to and fro.
Do the others hear the constant wail of sirens? I do. Each one bothers me as I am prejudiced into automatically believing, “There was another shooting.”
And that is very sad, to instinctively think such.
I often try not to think so, but when you see the gang task force police vehicles racing ahead of the ambulances to block off the intersections so as the victim can possibly get to the trauma centre in time, well, you realize trees are deceiving.
I wish we had more trees so maybe my heart wouldn’t ache as much.
But, we do not and even if we did, I would still know the truth.
I have below a prime example of the attitude of many.
I made this photo after seeing a t-shirt with the saying upon it.
Unfortunately, this is the attitude of many who would rather use humour to mask reality.
Sick or “dark” humour seems to have become the most common day coping mechanism.
What agitated me to no end is how the gangs are growing. How more and more are appearing.
Used to be safe for me to send my fourteen year old son out at night to the store in the plaza across the street.
I do not do that anymore. Even though the whole city knows “He is the son of Unkz”.
I go myself because even though I walk through the valley of danger, I fear no evil for I walk with Yahuwah and I have no fear of that I helped create.
As soon as the Sun sets the plaza becomes Little Syria. The parking lot fills with fancy “Fast & Furious” knock-off cars. The noise levels rise and the punks gather.
It is a very heavy load to bear knowing that my decades of bad life choices assisted in adding to the gangs goals and the shadowy meanderings thusly wrought.
I, and my acquaintances, were/are what hides behind the trees.
But, I hide no more. I now sit above the trees and gaze down, with tears in my eyes, at what society has become.
We all know that soon our Sodom and Gomorrah lifestyles are going to be cleansed.
Not by man and his violence.
It shall be Mother Nature or Yahuah or The Cosmic Muffin or whomever you believe your creator to be.
It will not be the “End of the Earth”. It shall be “The End of Days” – “The Supper of the Lambs”.
It will be when ONCE AGAIN the human population will be dealt a mighty blow and technology will fail.
And as has happened many times over many millennia, society will return to the basics of living off the land and depending on each other.
A time for healing. A time for reflections. A time for appreciation of the gifts YAHUSHA has allowed us.
And the beautiful trees will then hide our “PRIDE” not our “SHAME”.
And life will go onward AGAIN. HOPEFULLY THIS TIME SOCIETY WILL LEARN …..
Until then, I remain, Dann – just as I am.
A modern day Natsarim – a LightHouse beacon for all to see The Light.
So, touchy subject, ‘SUICIDE’ – I do believe you all may have heard of this quirky little characteristic you humans have.
This evening, after a few accidental shots of good old Wray & Nephew combined with the cancer meds, my lust for kush weed and the newly acquired pneumonia meds. (Yes folks on top of everything else I now have pneumonia – I had a different one in the sixties behind the high school – she spelt her name”Knew Moanforya – just saying)
Ok, come on here – damn – suicide is a serious thing!!!!!!
‘I know this as fact – I actually did kill myself before and was brought back by two burly EMS angels and a divine misconception or maybe intervention.’
You can read briefly about it in my previously published : “I COMMITTED SUICIDE ONCE”
Now, what brought me to sit and dance on these keys this fine evening was a video I observed on the ever addictive FaceF*ck, I mean FaceBook. I actually, no homo, cried my heart out while watching this confession of a fellow suicidal depressed soul. YES! I actually bawled for I am man enough to tell you straight up – I KILLED myself once and the only thing that actually died was my family, my marriage, my dignity and my children’s childhood. No family can ever recover from such a traumatic life changing event. And my marriage and my family of 32 years dissolved into a BALL OF GRADE A 1 DIS-FUNCTIONALITY.
This is the video I speak of:
Watch it! Overstand it!
Read my previous blog or call me _ I will talk with you.
BUT …. and I mean, “BUT” ….. if you or you are aware of someone who is contemplating offing themselves, please show them that there are souls who still love, hearts that still care and people who ARE there.
We all have demons – and sometimes, every now and then those demons get the upper hand.
My name is LightHouse Dann, or Shakie, or Unkz or just plain old Dann. You need to talk to someone who has experience seven deaths, including one real suicide – you need to speak to someone who can relate – well – you email me at email@example.com – send me your digits or I will send you mine or if you are more comfortable we can do email.
Suicide does not KILL your pain – it creates more by KILLING your most loved ones.
I am here – “Come, Walk With Dann”.
I love you all.
Sometimes we live.
Sometimes we die.
Sometimes we give.
Sometimes we cry.
Sometimes we stand to live.
Sometimes we sit to die.
Eight times I did live.
Seven times I did die.
This time I live and worry.
This time I stand and pray.
This time from Death I scurry.
This time I wish for a new day.
Today I ponder.
Today I shake.
Today I wonder…….. does my soul they “take”.
It is to be decided by your Gods,
Within the confines of my mind there lays a wandering gnome who is constantly challenging my perception of life in general.
For story-line purposes we shall call the gnome, “Dann”. He has two fellow debater’s, Shakie, the Dark Thinker and myself, LightHouse, the Light of Reasoning.
Just today, for instance, Dann asked us if it is worth it to live such a solitary life. This led to a huge dissection of my existence and what purposes I have used to justify being so.
Shake would say:
Yes, my social life is almost non-existent. Yes, I am often lonely for adult companionship. Yes, I live on one third of the poverty level set by Revenue Canada. Yes, I am reclusive.
LightHouse would enlighten:
My non-existent social life is spent conversing with many dear friends many hours daily. Either via social media sites, emails, phone calls or my blogs. Often friends pop by, I do not need to advertise their visits.
I am often lonely for the company of other adults. When this need arises I do what every other soul does. I go visit a friend. After five point six decades on this Big Blue Marble I have long past the stage of neediness and clinging to fellow-man just so I can feel needed. I have no doubt that I am needed. I need me. My children need me. The dog, lizard and Budgie need me. Shake and Dann need me. The WORLD needs me to assist in sharing my collective wisdom and life experiences. I always feel needed. I am Blessed.
As for my finances, life is what it is. In my life time of work I earned approximately two million dollars. That does not make me a ‘once’ millionaire – no not at all. That is my accumulated wage over forty years of struggle. Deduct from this my lodging, my food, my leisure, my drinking/drug years and the biggest debit of all, my living, and little is left for an elder aged street urchin like myself. I did not expect to be struck down so early in my life and had no plan ‘B’. Take heed of this when plotting your future.
And as for being a recluse – that I am not. I share my everyday life very willingly with my Blessed ten-year old, The Krush. We share our lives with Leo, The Blunder Dog, Diablo, The Angry Lizard and Baby, The Paranoid Budgie. I have many friends very close to my home and if need be will visit.
I choose to live semi-reclusive so as I can reflect on the adventurous life I have lived seven times over. My dealings with The Dark Angel, the Seven Battles of Dann, left me more than satisfied with the lives I was dealt.
I am a recluse only when need demands. My healing time is reclusive, my intellectual periods and my fatherhood also calls for occasional withdrawal from mainstream dancing of life.
Shake often try’s to tempt the Demon from within. Oh to live that extreme party life! To show these amateurs how to drink real booze. To take drug usage to the very edge of The Abyss. What a dynamic and exciting life that would be! NOT!!! I have been there and done that. More times than anyone else I know. (Well, maybe Keith Richards, but I do not know him. Lol)
Death taught me many things – but what I was Blessed to learn the most was LIFE.
Live your life, do not let life live YOU! Be at peace with whatever demons live within you. Judge not, lest be judged. Learn to FORGIVE – begin with YOURSELF and let it spread to all who need your FORGIVENESS.
TAKE IT FROM THIS LONG HAIRED LEAPING GNOME, LEARN FROM YOUR LIFE LESSONS………
UNTIL NEXT TIME, I REMAIN, DANN – JUST AS I AM.